Column by Crispin Sartwell , November 20, 1997
Philadelphia Inquirer

These concepts—excellence, productivity, global economy of the 21st century -- are the guidelines by which I raise my children. We used to talk about nurturing, love, discipline. But these are quaint, outdated concepts from the 20th century. We need to get our kids up and running in the global economy of the 21st century. Every child, whether or not she can read or write, should have Internet access. Whenever my son Sam, who’s in kindergarten, wants to do something, whether it is watch Looney Tunes or ride his bike, I ask him: “How will this impact vis-a-vis the global economy?”

Sam needs to realize that he is competing with kindergartners in Burundi, Qatar and Kazakhstan to see who is the most excellent kindergartner in the global economy of the 21st century. Kindergartners want to play, and yet play, like drugs and poverty and crime, reduces a kindergartner’s competitiveness. What we need is more standardized tests for kindergartners. In fact, kindergartners should themselves be standardized so that they can take their place among the reliable electronic components i n the competitive climate of the global economy of the 21st century.

Whenever my kid wants to relax or play silly games, I get up in his face and scream: “Get competitive in the global marketplace of the 21st century, you less-than-productive brat!” This helps my child to achieve excellence, and every child must achieve excellence. We cannot afford to leave a single child behind in the 20th century as we enter the 21st century of tomorrow.