Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, When The Bough Breaks
U.S.A., 1991: ISBN 0465091652
Page 85

The hard-edged personality traits cultivated by many successful professionals -- control, decisiveness, aggression, efficiency—can be directly at odds with the passive, patient, selfless elements of good nurturing. The last thing a three-year-old or a thirteen-year-old needs at eight o’clock in the evening is a mother or father who marches into the house in his or her power suit, barking orders, looking and sounding like a Prussian general. Consider the contrasts in the following list:

Qualities Needed to Succeed in Chosen Career

1. Long hours and one's best energy
2. Mobility
3. A prime commitment to oneself4. Efficiency
5. A controlling attitude
6. A drive for high performance
7. Orientation toward the moment
8. A goal-oriented, time-pressured approach to the task at hand.


Qualities Needed to Meet Needs of Child

1. Time to be together as a family and energy for the hard tasks of parenting
2. Stability
3. Selflessness and a commitment to others
4. A tolerance for chaos
5. An ability to let go
6. An acceptance of difference and failure
7. Appreciation of the future
8. An ability to tie the same pair of shoelaces 29 times with patience and humor.